Bearing Witless
(after the style of Lewis Carroll's "A-sitting On A Gate")

If now by chance I ever hear
a truthful word from one
who lies each time His two lips sneer
(my chances slim to none)
Or when devoted sycophant
Pete Hegseth's sorry state
compels him to recite his rant:

So as with Sherman and with Grant,
He never spoke the foul word "can't."
He makes things straight that others slant,
through eyes that see the world askant,
who never dealt with Willie Brandt,
whose skin is orange like the ant,
whose blonde hair looks like an implant,
who never read a book by Kant,
or viewed a painting by Rembrandt,
whose breathing scarce exceeds a pant
those times I'm called upon to chant:

"This President, The Great."